A decade ago when my kids were just simply kids.. I would say that motherhood consist mainly of cleaning them up,cooking and feeding,wiping noses,drying tears,staying up all night if a child is sick, singing lullabies, story telling, playing with them and such.
Now... when my children are all grown up and looking forward to making their own world, the meaning of motherhood undergoes a thoroughly new upheaval. A new dimension that is quite exciting and at the same time terrifying to a mother like me. The need to run to Mamang is not quite so often as before and sometimes roles get reversed. It is unavoidable that sometimes I feel like my children doesn't need me anymore. They have ideas and dreams of their own. They have their own friends and activities. Making them stay at home becomes such a rare opportunity and they don't come handy as before.
Suddenly, I find myself alone in a house which used to be crowded with kids spilling over....and wonder of all wonders, I am truly enjoying my solitude and freedom. Why?... It is because I can now rest easy on my basic responsibilities. Knowing I brought them up In God's way, I find it restful to know that they will never veer from the path they have choosen for themselves and that the Lord is always with them. I now give my full authority to God on my kid's welfare and protection.
In lieu of that, I get to do what I wanted most. I can read a book without keeping an eye for an errant child, stay online as long as I like, go out with friends without a guilty feeling I have abandoned them, get to write down my thoughts and have them posted, buy anything I like for myself, eat anything I fancy without thinking they could be hungry and practically .....do whatever I wish....
On the other hand, my challenges as a mother is more on the intellectual level now. I get to listen to arguments that at times was beyond my comprehension. I heard tales of love, wishes fulfilled, joys expressed passionately and almost all stories both happy and sad told to me by my kids.I get to know them better as individuals with complex and unique characteristics. Sometimes I get to wonder if I did produce these kids. They are more intellectually wiser than me at times and are never hesitant to express their views. More often than not, I get to listen not only with my ears but with my heart. Once I was the teacher, now they are my mentors. They brought the world with them every time they step on the threshold and I truly welcome the news they share with me everyday. I learned not to side on any child in cases of arguments. I have become partly a jury, a judge, a plaintiff and at times the culprit.
I never aspire to be a perfect mom and I am with so much fault but my children have accepted me as I am and respects me as an equal. Someone they can lean on, vent their frustrations and disappointments, share their happiness and bliss. Someone they can call as their own, their MOM.....
In my journey through life. I know that my kids will always be my constant companion and allies. With them, i have truly enjoyed my essence as a woman and as a mother.What more do I need??????
